绿皮火车

和田是座会下沙的城市,因它背着无边无际的塔克拉玛干,沙漠里常年寸草不生。

绿色的7564一路向北,米岛贴着窗一路痴痴地望着,她说日本没有沙漠。窗外偶尔有星星点点的棉花闪现,那是火车经过村庄的时候。

买了人生当中最短程的卧铺票,十八分钟。过了墨玉去硬座车厢补票,多谢列车长的通情达理才未被中途赶下车。听说是有大批学生北上,又听说是列车执行军队运输任务,越想越像二十几年前那个遥远又熟悉的忧伤故事。

在九号车厢里再次遇见卧铺里坐我们对面的母女。在新疆,我一直相信有这样的情况存在,买短途票坐长途车,更多的时候我更愿意把这样一种“逃票”漏洞解释为政府对于自治区人民的照顾,因为不管是在车上还是出站的时候,铁路工作人员是从来不查票的。只是今天,查票似乎是纯属意外,然而更让我意外的却是某些公务人员对于一个妇女和儿童那种趾高气昂的态度。在强大的国家机器面前,他们的确是弱势群体,他们是少数民族,但他们首先是一个人,是一个和我们一样和所有汉族人民一样平等的人。这样的愤怒完全是因为之前的情绪铺垫,那也只是一个拿著录取通知书大概刚考上大学可能家庭条件不好想要申请补票打折的学生,是谁给了我们勇气用那般蔑视的语气对待这样一个穷学生。

米岛用惊愕的眼神看着这一幕幕,她问我到底发生了什么。那一刻,我只感觉浑身地不自在,伴随着脸红的是内心不断翻涌的羞耻感。

回想起在新疆的这些日子,自己真正深入接触的新疆人其实并不多。

一个是塔什库尔干搭车回来在边防站遇到的维族司机,车里拉了六十几吨的矿石,速度极慢,路途遥远,他就一路不停地陪我们讲话、搞笑,看见同行的姑娘不开心,他便开始主动去逗她。他也讲自己从前在内地做保安的有趣经历。车载MP3在涌出一堆维语歌后竟然也会有《see you again》和《南方姑娘》的惊喜。他甚至在检查点偷偷给大家买了饮料和水果。卸了矿石之后还要坚持送我们一程直到帮我们找到出租车自己才摸黑返程回去。到了青旅我们还没给他发信息他的电话就过来了。

另一个是去和田的火车上遇见的维族女孩,她叫古扎尔(音译)。真真是萍水相逢。她的妹妹在和田师范读书,认识的第二天大家就一起在妹妹的大学操场里踢球了。妹妹又拉了宿舍里所有的姑娘陪我们去玉龙喀什河里捡石头打水仗,坐着旧时代的汽车去逛巴扎,晚上在大学的餐厅里吃饭,自己又似乎回到了学生时代。第三天走的时候,所有的姑娘过来告别,认识两天竟有离愁别绪。古扎尔和另一个姑娘坚持送我们去火车站,在车站广场大家再次合影留念。愿后会有期。

更不用说塔县出来让我们搭车并要帮我们找车的当地警察,还有麻扎尔乡回来帮助我们的塔吉克族司机,以及那个来自塔吉克斯坦开心地忍受我们用极其磕碜的俄语交流的大叔······

记得出发的时候,不断地从搭车的司机那里听到各种流血新闻,以至于我们被扔到一个汉人都没有的乌帕尔街上的时候,拦车都不敢往乡镇外面走,街上每一个人的眼神里似乎都充满了恶意。人心是这样的脆弱易变。回来又路过乌帕尔乡,下了维族司机的车已经是夜里十点,出租车拐进漆黑的小道里送另一个当地人的时候,我突然觉得一点也不害怕了。

在来新疆之前不断有朋友提醒我那里危险,进了新疆以后又有另一批朋友劝说别去南疆,当然我相信他们完全是出于好意,就像当初劝我别去西藏的那批朋友一样。为此我和米岛辩论,维吾尔人到底是怎样的存在,我们到底有多了解这样一个民族,那些一起起的悲剧,我们到底有没有认真去思考过原因。比如那个在补票时被蔑视的学生,还有那对被恶劣对待的母女。他们绝对不是个例,我们到底有没有去想过他们的心理发展过程。

下午和米岛逛服装巴扎,巴扎里清一色的新疆面孔,充满了异域风情,像极了喀什这座城市。她既开心又紧张,开心的是看见了这么多民族特色的衣服,紧张的是她告诉我说待会儿买东西的时候请不要讲中文。我问她为什么,她说起前段在吉尔吉斯斯坦的经历,每次当地人问她是不是中国人,当她回答是日本人的时候,对方都会突然意外地开心并微笑起来。

我似乎突然间明白了她紧张的原因。

记得那天经西极送她去边境,在海关碰到同样去吉尔吉斯斯坦热情的内地大叔,他主动和我们抱怨,干嘛去那边玩啊,当地人又穷对中国人又不好,我是做生意没办法才过去,因为签证快过期了。

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